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| Back bitches |
| 07.27.04 (7:41 pm) [edit] |
My first post in, God knows how long. Hope you enjoy it.
The camPAIN is really heating up, what will Bush and Kerry do next? Calm down..here layeth the answers:
Joe Rogan here welcome back to Fear Factor tonight we have Barbara and Jen Bush up against Alexandra Kerry. Barbara and Jen have to plant trees and Alexandra has to find something appropriate to wear that does not reveal herself. "Joe, thats totally not fair, daddy had the best designers redo my wardrobe for the campaign. He said it was more patriotic." whined Alexandra. Joe quickly changed the subject "Lets see how barb and Jen are doing." The twins where viciously tearing up trees and ripping them from the earth. "Looks like they are transplanting trees....wait they are now lighting them on fire." said Joe. "Girls the mission was too.." Joe was interrupted by Alexandra. "Joe is this mini skirt too big?" "Ummm" stuttered Joe...We'll be right back folks."
"Wow my girls are doing a great job." said George Bush who was tuned in watching his two girl go to town on a bunch of trees."
"Sir the object of the mission was to plant trees not kill them. At least Jenna didn't start smoking trees...hahahaha..ahem"
"Dick, I have been promoting these girl day in and day out but my ratings are still dropping, what should I do?"
"You could always adopt a little black kid." said Dick Cheney.
"Yes,yes I love this idea...."
'Hello, is this Adopt a Black Child foundation? Uhuh. yes this is President Bush I need a black child here by tomorrow. Thanks."
"Mr. President you have a package" said one of the interns.
"That was quick" thought Bush.
The package was dropped at the front and all of a sudden it started to move, and shake until finnally it just broke open. "Hi there sir"
"Well hi there little buddy. Whats your name?" asked Bush
"I'm Gary coleman" said the little black boy. "I'm so excited to be here and to be your running mate George."
"Well um.."stutterd Bush as cheney fell. *thump* "I guess it couldn't hurt." thought Bush.
"Hello Jen, Hello Barb." I'm Ron jeremy, how would you like to be in a movie.
"Don't listen to him, I'm larry flynt, how about an "article" in my "newspaper""
"Jen run" whispered Barbara...the two took off. But before you knew it Larry Flynt was chasing them in his wheelchair.. "Come back, come back!!!!" he screamed.
"Theres always Alexandra" thought Flynt
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Jayme Selman(thats me)
What Sam Adams said about Rasta:
"You win the Award for the Best Wit on Tblog ..."
Jayme is an accomplished asshole as well as the writer of behind enemy headlines and producer of "Affirmative Anger"
AND THE CRITICS SAY:
"This is seriously @#$%*& UP, have you considered therapy? "
-LILPOETGIRL
"Your stories are a trip! Who knew politics could be so entertaining?"
-OoLostEntity
Rasta ... what can i say, you're simply talented beyond words!
Keep up the great work !
- progressive
Rasta you have a very creative mind which is cool i hate all cut and paste post's.......your are far from that
I'm never let down by the humor of your blog... thats a compliment lol.
Trama! I was laughing at this! In the sick way that I laugh at SouthPark because it is sooo WRONG but SOOOO funny!! Kara
Perfect. Cant imagine anything better or funnier. I swear I sit hear with my laptop computer just reading along and suddenly laughing out loud, getting strange looks from my family and pets! Much needed stress reliever. I can picture Shrub, Condie and Rummie really saying this stuff. It is so weird, and so are they!!! Next stop.... send it to The Onion! http://www.theonion.com/
People I like:
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