Hush little turkey, your wasting your breath
It’s coming to get you, this bastard called death
We’re all God’s little turkeys for what it is worth
Born to be butchered on this farm called earth

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

I was reading John Kerry quotes and I had to laugh at this one:

"I'm fascinated by rap and by hip-hop. I think there's a lot of poetry in it. There's a lot of anger, a lot of social energy in it. And I think you'd better listen to it pretty carefully, 'cause it's important. "

At first I thought, "What bull". But the more I thought about it the more I realized the man has a point....

How rap music inspired me

an essay by Jayme Selman

I’ve gotta say rap music is my hero. It helped me overcome the struggle…you feel me? I had a bad foundation. My mom wouldn’t always drive me around in the convertible and my pops was always in jail. (he was a preacher) So when I had no one else to turn to I found rap. I started writin…er bustin’ rhymes when I was locked up in that metal prison ( I lived with my parents in a gated community) About this time is when I started to compose my best work ever. Such rhymes as “I’m a white guy and my mom gave me a ride to my first drive bye” and “I’m tight like a shirt from Abercrombie, you wonder why yo girls all up on me” really showed who I was and where I was coming from. But the industry wasn’t given me mad props just yet, they said in order to make it I was gonna have to kick it up a notch. I was going to have to become a white…gay rapper. This was a little emotional for me because I suffered while being “locked up” and often questioned my…er.. “Preference” (meaning: dad would come home staggering drunk and….yea) But I overcame it all and became the first white gay rapper. Last summer Usher and I made a hit single “you remind me of a guy that I once blew and he shot something that looked like Elmer’s glue. I overcame my struggles and I owe it all to the rap industry.

I know what you all must be thinking, "Gee wiz, where in the world can I get a really spiffy looking button for behind enemy headlines at?"

Well since I know you all love this blog and want to advertise it I figured I would put up the button freshy made a while back.

...enjoy 

I'm working on something big...something huge....

...but its not done yet, so until then focus your eyes to the dancing moore:

(this kept me busiy for 3 hours or so)

I know I gained recognition on tblog as a political satirist, and I do promise in bringing all of that back…sooner or later. Please forgive me if the topics seem a little unlike my older writings. I have been out of business so long I am a tad rusty. That being said...someone please explain what the f**k this is:

Should white people as myself be on the lookout?

There is a new terrorist out there folks, and this one hits home. Hillary duff, a famous Disney icon, is under interrogation for sexual references and influencing the minds of little children for Disney’s secrete governmental plan…also known as “Leave know child left behind”  The following is an example:

"Napkin based off Hillary's hit series Lizzie Mcquire"

We will now return you to your normal shitty blogging

I'm looking foward to the new brand of salad dressing that should be coming out sometime next year:

What now Paul Newman?

My friend had some workers over his house a few weekends ago and the note the guy left just tickled me pink.

..we truly are the melting pot

Spread the word infidels: Rasta has returned to tblog. I’m here to stay…seriously I am. Lack of funding has led me back to tblog. We all know there is no better place to run a blog then tblog.

First of all:

I’d like to say I did my fine share this year in brainwashing encouraging first time voters. Many of you locals may have seen my infamous shirt; those who didn’t must check it out:

 Perhaps a little immature but regardless it’s ridiculously funny…or so I think.

I had a few ideas I may give rightwingstuff.com. Perhaps:

“John Kerry got served”

“Kerry Lied, campaign died”

“Give war a chance”

Maybe this t-shirt thing is really up my ally.

The Republican National Convention
One can only wonder what we can expect from the republcians...

Ok so by now we all realized that a normal convention won't do. And that people don't care what your party stands for just as long as you have cool music and you look good...so you better believe the republicans are working their asses off!

“Next!” yelled Brent Cleveland the coordinator for the Republican National Convention. This week it was Brent’s job to gather the best musical talent he could.

“Ok Dianna Ross tell me what makes you worthy of performing for the RNC”
“Well, it would be so nice to finally have an audience.”
“NEXT!” shouted Brent. “Ok, Michael Jackson how are you?”
“Ok Brent, I’m holding my own.”
“Right..tell me why you want to perform for the RNC”
“Because the Democrats are ignorant, its all ignorance.”
“Can someone get me a cup of coffee and some aspirin” yelled out Brent

“Ok..Next” “Whitney Houston, why do you want to perform for the RNC?”
“Because I support Bush, and I have cleaned up my life. How much does this pay again? Can I get that upfront in cash?”

Right about now when Brent’s temper was running high, he was just about to loose it when the phone rang.

“Hello, o how you doing Mr. President? Well we thought of a few musical things you could do during the RNC. How about you play cowbell with blue oyster cult..yea you guys could perform “don’t fear the reaper”. ….Or you could do a duet with the guy from Milli Vanilli, that wouldn’t be to hard…Mr. President I’m going to have to call you back, some very important people are here..”

Just then Slash and his band “Velvet revolver” walked in. “Hey” said Slash. “We wanna play for the RNC.”

Meanwhile..in some underground sewer:

‘Guys we have to find a way to reinvent ourselves. That whole Behind the music thing didn’t go over as well as I thought it would.” Said Axle Rose. “Any ideas??”
“We could always play at the Republican National Convention.” Replied bucket head
“Genius idea..muhahahaha” laughed Axle. “Quick get me my botox!”

Well……will Axle and Slash meet again and finally confront each other? Will the president ever find musical talent?? How will the RNC turn out…tune in next time to find out.